I always get sentimental this time of year.
Maybe it's all those years of back-to-school conditioning or maybe it's because my birthday sits right at the threshold between summer's permission and fall's structure...
Either way, August often ends up feeling more like a fresh start than January ever does.
I'll be turning 36 at the end of the week and I've been reflecting more about what I've been unlearning this year than what I've learned.
This time last year, I just wanted to "trust myself."
To have a feeling of solid foundation under my metaphorical feet.
To have it "figured out."
Turns out, the universe said, "Yes, and..." because while that's where I ended up, I spent most the year unlearning countless expectations, conditioning, and false truths I used to dictate the way I showed up and lived every day.
Among all the unlearning, I came to learn that "trusting yourself" is made up of countless little pieces that may need to be looked at individually just as much as collectively.
So here's a list of some things I've been seeing shifts between as I unlearn:
Receiving Creativity vs. Performing Creativity: Moving from optimizing creativity for ROI to letting myself be a vessel for creativity (oh and continuing to shamelessly sing while doing laundry with no audience.)
Progress vs. Motion: Recognizing that too much focus on optimization and understanding kept me from the deep internal work that creates real change.
Being Seen vs. Performing Visibility: Trusting that authentic expression creates natural visibility without force.
Kindness vs. People-pleasing: The evolution from "the emotionally mature one" who adjusts to keep peace ➡️ someone who no longer holds other people's discomfort for them.
Boundaries vs. Walls: Learning to protect energy while staying open to authentic connection (aka permeable boundaries.)
Rest vs. Avoidance: Distinguishing between nervous system restoration and hiding from vulnerability.
Security Through Authenticity vs. Through Overplanning: Discovering that obsessing over strategy hasn't created security, so maybe it's time to try something new.
Creative Permission vs. Creative Authority: Claiming my right to create and no longer listening to the voice that told me losing my ability to letter meant I couldn't be "a creative" anymore.
Inner Strength vs. Outer Strength: Drawing from deep healing work to show up more fully, authentically, and confidently in business.
Integration vs. Overwhelm: Understanding that simplifying doesn't mean losing complexity (as all humans are), but instead making current practices sacred instead of constantly adding new things.
The meta-pattern I'm seeing: Each of these unlearnings represents a shift from external validation and the need for control to internal authority and trust.
From force to flow.
From performance to authenticity.
From seeking permission to claiming what's already mine.
And my body has been my wisest teacher throughout this process. Performing anything feels tight and grasping. Authentic expression feels like an open channel. The tornado-in-your-chest energy versus buoyant lightness. Frantic extremities versus centered roots.
So what does that mean for year 36? The goal isn't to have it all figured out by 37 either ('cause, spoiler, I won't. 😂) It's to trust my own discernment enough to keep choosing authenticity over approval, even when it's messier or less understood. To be less tied to how something will arrive, and more open to and excited for whatever it looks like when it does.
Because the way it feels sure seems waaaaay more important than how it looks. ✨
This Week's Action
Pick one area where you'd like to lean more into trusting yourself and show up in the authentic expression of whatever that is—in hobbies, relationships, business, etc. Notice what that feels like in your body when you're genuinely expressing yourself (vs. when you aren't.)
The gap between those two sensations? That's your internal compass pointing toward what wants to shift.
Does one of these unlearnings resonate most with where you are right now? Or maybe you've been unlearning something big lately that's not on my list, or you experienced the unlearning of one of these differently. I'd love to hear your version of the story, just hit reply.
Currently Obsessed
Double Cleansing. Sensory limitations mean that sometimes the most basic tasks are hell. Washing my face at a sink is one of them. But I decided to give the new Etheral cleansing oil from Dieux a shot and honestly, it's worth the whole ordeal to do a double cleanse. Will I use it every day? Probably not. But damn, a few days a week makes a huge difference. Plus, I wear makeup like once a month, so it's more for cleaning off sunscreen and normal oil than anything.
Perfect Match. Season 3 has been yet another messy adventure of a hook-up/love/challenge reality show on Netflix and I love it just as much as last season. Between the finale coming out on Friday and Love is Blind UK season 2 starting on Wednesday, the reality tv gods are smiling upon me this birthday week! 😍
Superman. I finally got to see Superman this week and I really loved it. The story they chose to tell. The way they avoided retelling the very beginning and instead gave us glimpses through the present. Nothing beats freshly popped popcorn, movie theater butter, and a bag of nerdy gummy clusters. (I'll pay for those last ones later, but once and awhile it's worth it 🙌)
P.S.
You're not alone if you're realizing that you've been trying to build confidence and trust in yourself without understanding your actual patterns first. Most of my clients discover they've been forcing external frameworks instead of designing systems around how they're naturally wired.
The solution isn't just building better systems—it's building systems that honor your authentic way of being so you can trust yourself more deeply.
That's what my Energy Alignment Intensives are designed for. In this 90-minute session, we'll map your natural daily energy cycle, review your calendar together to make alignments, and dig into wherever you're feeling most stuck. It's like getting a mini personalized energy blueprint plus clarity on your next right step.
If you're ready to map your energy and start building the path that works best for you, I have spots available for August and September before the holidays hit. Book your intensive here.
