I'm returning to holiday hustle support content this week because we are all dealing with more stress than ever (plenty from holidays, year-end work, and other... colorful... places.) Having experienced firsthand how crucial energy management is during difficult seasons, this content feels necessary now more than ever—both for me and for you.

Like how I'm already seeing some of the benefits of completing the Holiday Capacity Planning exercise back in October. A friendsgiving event popped up for this weekend that wasn't originally in my plans. Is the timing perfect? No. But I was able to quickly consider:

After looking at everything and knowing that the rest of my thanksgiving week afterwards is well buffered, it was an easy yes.

I share this because it's a good reminder of why we have these intentional systems—so we can fully show up for the moments and people without depleting ourselves.

Plans rarely go perfectly and things will pop-up that surprise you.

When you know your needs, you can ensure they are met while doing the things that matter to you.

Balancing your needs during the holidays seems the hardest of any other time. In part because there is so much joy in addition to the stress of the holidays.

In a 2023 American Psychological Association poll, 41% of people shared that their stress during the holidays is greater than other points in the year and 43% shared that holiday stress interferes with their ability to enjoy the season. [1]​

When societal expectations for holidays are centered around:

It makes sense why 89% of people in the APA poll reported increased stress due to concerns around money, missing loved ones, and anticipating family conflicts during the season. [2]​

Add to that the pressures of social media and the highlight reels of perfect home decor, the burn and churn of perfect Hallmark movies, etc. It continually creates an expectation that can make it feel like you're behind.​

Now don't get me wrong, I love a good Hallmark movie and fluffy holiday romcom books. The predictability is soothing. But it's not real life for most of us. It's made me grateful for creators on social media who try new holiday trends that don't come out perfectly. It feels a lot like finding your favorite blogger site back in the 2010s when everyone was DIYing what they could after just getting out of school. Back before owning brand new, custom build $500k+ homes was the social media baseline.

I also think it's important to talk about traditions. There are many traditions, whether cultural or specific to your family, that are important. Carrying on legacy and honoring where we come from is important, but it's a mistake to think they will never change over time.

Whether it's creating new traditions because new family members join, shifting old traditions when losing a loved one, or changing a tradition because you live somewhere different or have different means than past years, looking at traditions as rigid expectations is a recipe for stress.

​With all these expectations, whether self-imposed, societal, cultural, or familial, it's a time of year you want to approach prepared with a flexible system that allows you to take care of your needs while doing the things that are most important to you.

Part of that system includes permission.

It's easy to believe that giving yourself permission is simply indulging yourself when we are raised where everything requires permission.

​Whether it's to create, to prioritize your needs, or going against the grain, transitioning into the role of both doer and permission-giver can be difficult if you were never taught how to do both.

I know I wasn't...

When looking at it through the holiday lens specifically, it can feel selfish to give yourself:​

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You may run into all kinds of barriers that make that permission difficult to give:

It's easy to see how decision fatigue can find you even during the holidays and outside of work.​

Remember, it's been estimated that the average adult makes ~35,000 decisions everyday, which I'd bet big money goes way up during the holidays.

Decision fatigue is just one of several symptoms that gives you a warning that you may need more permission-setting. You may find benefit from additional permission-setting if you also notice:

The beauty of permission-setting is that it's entirely customizable to your needs, values, and current season of life. By taking time now to establish clear permissions, you're giving yourself the gift of sustainable energy during the holidays.​

To explore how to craft these permissions in a way that feels true to you, let's...

I will always encourage you to use intentional guardrails for your energy year-round but this becomes especially valuable during the holiday season. This week's exercise walks you through creating personalized permission slips to help you do just that. Think of these as little agreements with yourself, ones that you can reference when other's try to make their needs more important than your own.

1. Do a Quick Energy Audit.

Before you jump into writing your permissions, you need a good baseline for identifying needs and areas where you may find yourself needing permission over your holiday schedule. For this quick audit, list all anticipated holiday activities/commitments and next to each, mark:​

2. Create Your Permission Categories.

These can and should be personalized to your unique needs. Below is an example of some categories that you may want permissions for:

Once you've chosen your categories, you'll want to list them in a way (columns, sections, etc.) where you can add information under each for the coming steps.

3. Write Your Permission Statements.

For each category, write 2-3 specific permissions that you need using the format: "I give myself permission to..." followed by concrete actions.

Here are some examples that me or my clients have used before:​

4. Add Your Why.

Reminding yourself of why these permissions are important makes it easier to communicate and remind the parts of you that struggle with barriers as you work to implement these over the next couple months.

Under each permission statement, briefly note:​

5. Create Your Action Plan.

Now that you know the what and why for your permissions, identify the following to create an action plan:

It's easy to get stuck in the planning phase, but to build the muscles to hold these guardrails around your energy, you need to make sure to take action on these needs.​

6. Your Implementation Strategy.

The whole point of this work is to reduce overwhelm which means you don't have to do all of these at once. To help with implementing these for max sustainability:​

At the end of the day, these permission slips and your plan for implementation needs to work for your unique needs and situation. There are so many ways to personalize this process, but here are a few ways you can take your implementation a step further:

These are just some examples to get your ideas flowing, feel free to use any of these or none of them. If you use another method, reply here or DM me on Instagram to let me know what you use!

These permissions aren't about restricting joy - they're about protecting your energy so you can fully enjoy the moments that matter most to you. Your permissions can be adjusted as you learn what works best for you so that they grow as you do.

For many years, I took the holidays at the same speed as the rest of the year—210 mph.

​I couldn't get through November - March without getting sick at least once or twice. My body had to sideline me, because I would never prioritize my needs in advance.

​I learned a lot in those years by taking care of other people but it took me a lot longer than I would like to admit before I gave myself the same compassion, support, and care.

​Writing this newsletter each week has forced me to reflect on and spend some time taking care of the past versions of me who didn't get the benefit of this knowledge. But without them, I wouldn't have made it here.

​Everyday I'm more grateful than the last for my body's ability to adapt and protect me the only way it could over the years. It allowed me to get here.

​This year is one of the first where I'm confident that I'm not contributing to my burnout AND I'm getting to participate in all the activities I want to. Even just a few years ago, the exact same activities I attend this year, would have needed weeks of recovery.

​It's hard to put into words how that feels.

Hope. Excitement. Probably a little pride.​

But most of all, gratitude. For the past versions, lessons, and challenges that lead me here.

Here's a few ways you can let me know:

Option 1: 💌 Share with a fellow creative or business owner. Community starts with each of us and friends don't let friends chase their dreams at the expense of their mental health! If you know someone seeking more sustainability and harmony in their life and/or business, send this their way.

Option 2: 👋 Say hi! Hit reply and share a sentence or two about anything you enjoyed or hit home for you. I always hope these words find the right people at the right time, but it's always makes my day to hear from you!