Friday was National Quitter's Day, a day that is said to be when most people give up on their resolutions, and I saw lots of posts talking about it like it's some grand revelation about human willpower.
But the whole concept of the day is missing the plot: when masses of people 'quit' their resolutions at the same time, that's not a willpower problem—it's a system design flaw.
When you've already proven you can achieve big things, hitting a wall isn't about lacking discipline. It's about trying to force yourself into systems that weren't designed for your natural rhythms and energy needs.
Maybe this is why the word 'boundaries' has been on my mind lately...
Healthy Bounds
Sometimes the things we're known for can be the things we have struggled with the most. I've been called a "boundary queen" by peers, friends, and even my own therapist, and for a long time my perception of those skills was being absolute 💩 at it.
This paired with a lifetime of perfectionism means that one of the things I've worked on a lot the last couple years is the habit of extreme penduluming.
This is what I call it when I overcorrect literally anything.
👉 Going from no boundaries to having boundaries at the expense of other people.
👉 Going from a life of constant overstimulation to near isolation.
So as I work to find the gray and in-between of it all, I tend to have a weird relationship with some cultural buzzword-y concepts—like self-care and definitely with boundaries.
And when I struggle with something, my first instinct is to research and understand it as much as possible.
Which is how I found myself down the etymology rabbit hole of the word "boundaries."
And I want to talk about it because what I found made something I regularly do with myself and clients... click
The word "boundary" as we know it today first appeared in 1598, specifically referring to property lines and land divisions.
But it's the root word "bound" that holds the real story.
See, "bound" has multiple origins and meanings, each telling us something different about limits and movement:
In Latin, it meant "humming" or "resounding" - a vibration moving outward.
In Medieval Latin and Old French, it became about landmarks and borderlands.
In Old English, it meant "to bind" or "restrict."
In Old Norse, it meant "to get ready" or "prepare."
Somewhere along the way, we lost some of the rich meanings.
Our modern understanding (and/or perception) of boundaries leans heavily into restriction and limitation. We forgot about the resonance, the preparation, the natural landmarks that guide rather than confine.
After all that digging, I couldn't get this one thought out of my head...
What if we looked at boundaries as "getting ready for" instead of "to limit"?
I don't know if this has been true for you, but I think past-Hannah put up a lot of barriers instead of boundaries.
In energy management, we look at things like energy boosters and energy drains, but it's also important to keep an eye on where your systems become restrictive instead of flexible in your efforts to better self-manage.
Let's take a look at and example of how personalized energy systems could be barriers for some while being a healthy boundary for another:
Client 1: The Social Strategist
Natural Energy Flow: Thrives on human connection, dynamic interaction, and...
Would happily spend all day in meetings and calls.
Gains energy from collaborative work.
Feels most creative when working around others.
Their Sustainable Solution: Instead of forcing traditional "no meeting days" (which would have been a barrier), we created natural energy transitions that:
Redirected sales calls from teammates to feed their social energy.
Integrated mentoring sessions among weekly deep work blocks.
Created flexible workspace options (coffee shops, coworking spaces, etc.) to blend focus work with human connection.
Built systems that supported spontaneous interaction while maintaining productivity.
Client 2: The Deep Worker
Natural Energy Flow: Thrives in focused creation, intimate conversations, and...
Masters strategic thinking in solitude.
Processes best in small group settings.
Requires significant recovery time after social interaction.
Their Sustainable Solution: We created clear energy bounds that:
Designated specific "meeting days" to protect deep work time.
Stacked client calls strategically to manage neurodivergent energy needs.
Built a consulting model that maximized revenue from minimal client interaction.
Created recovery periods between social commitments.
The Key Difference:
What would have been a barrier for one became a vital boundary for the other. Neither approach was "right" or "wrong"... They were simply aligned with each person's natural energy flow and unique needs.
The easiest way to identify if you are putting up barriers instead of boundaries is to look at:
Is this a fear or shame response?
Is this rule rigid or based on a "should"?
Is this using black or white thinking to identify capacity?
Is this supporting intentional protection or avoidance?
Is this based on external expectations rather than internal needs?
Why do we ask these questions?
Well, as any recovering perfectionist or people pleaser has discovered—barriers can often be disguised as "high standards" or "quality control." Like when perfectionism masquerades as excellence, fear to show up fully is disguised as keeping the peace, and shame leads to rigid rules that are impossible to follow in most circumstances.
There are always nuances to this topic. Psychological safety is a huge part of this just as much as self-trust is needed to stand up for your needs being met (from yourself or others.)
When you are intentional with your boundaries...
When you can see boundaries as preparation for meeting your needs...
You can create thoughtful systems, sustainable success, and most importantly, allow for growth while protecting your energy in a world that wants you exhausted.
This week, I want to challenge you to look inwards and...
Try This:
Energy Bounds Reflection
After examining perceptions around boundaries and seeing examples of how different they can look based on individual needs, it's time to look at your own patterns. This exercise helps to identify where you might be creating barriers instead of boundaries, and transform rigid rules into supportive structures that actually serve your energy needs.
WHAT YOU'LL NEED:
20-30 minutes of quiet time
Journal or digital note-taking tool
Your current "boundaries" list (if you have one, if not you can create one!)
Curiosity and compassion for yourself
HOW-TO:
STEP ONE: Current Pattern Review
List your existing "boundaries" or rules.
For each one, note:
Where did this come from? (Fear, external pressure, or natural need?)
How does it feel? (Restrictive or protective?)
Does it flex with your energy or stay rigid?
STEP TWO: Permission Mapping
For each rigid rule or barrier, write:
"I give myself permission to..."
Transform "shoulds" into sustainable support statements
Example: "I should power through" → "I give myself permission to honor my natural energy transitions"
STEP THREE: Support Design
Now that you have supportive statements, take that list and:
Note where you need clear transitions vs. flexible overlap
Identify what support you need to maintain these natural bounds
STEP FOUR: Implementation Intention
Choose one new permission to experiment with this week
Design simple ways to remind yourself of this permission
Plan how you'll support yourself when old patterns emerge
PERSONALIZATION IDEAS:
For visual processors: Create a simple color-coding system for your calendar that indicates firm bounds vs. flexible ones. Use these colors to block time proactively in line with your permissions.
For external processors: Share your permissions with a trusted friend or accountability partner. Sometimes saying things out loud helps us recognize when we're creating barriers versus boundaries.
For people who menstruate: Consider how your bounds might need to flex with your cycle phases. What feels supportive during your luteal phase might be restrictive during your follicular phase.
For neurodivergent folks: Document your bounds in a way that makes sense to your brain - voice notes, bullet points, mind maps, or even drawings. Focus on creating clear but flexible systems that accommodate both your best and hardest days.
For digital organizers: Create a "bounds" note in your favorite app that you can easily reference and update. Set periodic reminders to check in with how these bounds are working for you.
For physical reminders: Write your new permission on a sticky note and put it somewhere you'll see during decision moments - like your computer monitor, planner, bathroom mirror, fridge, coffee station, etc.
REMINDER:
This process isn't about getting it perfect. It's about understanding your needs and creating intentional spaces to meet them. Start small, stay curious, and remember that healthy bounds can shift with different seasons of life and work. The best methods are the ones you'll actually use. Combine, modify, or expand upon the ideas I present in a way that will work best for your unique needs and preferences!
From My Journal
My brain's literal interpretation of everything can really bite me in the 🍑 sometimes, especially when it comes to writing.
I have spent most of my life thinking that writing was just something I wasn't and would never be good at. I just want to give younger me a giant hug and show her that it gets better.
So at the beginning of the week, when I was journaling and setting intentions around this week's priorities, I wanted to bring adaptability to my writing and use any writer's block as an invitation to explore different angles.
Spoiler, I did end up hitting a wall with drafting this newsletter. lol
I ultimately decided set it down and went on to other tasks like, strategic planning, market research, and organization. Two days later, when I sat down to finish the topic, I was able to blow through it in one sitting.
When I was reflecting afterwards, I looked at my intentions and had a kneejerk internal voice that immediately questioned the way I handled it. "Was I truly being adaptable or was I avoiding an opportunity to dig deeper when I got uncomfortable?"
But once I was able to set it aside and look closely, I found that...
I recognized I was hitting a wall in the moment and didn't force through it.
I pivoted to other productive work that still supported my goals + deadlines.
I trusted that I was on the right track, and that stepping away was valuable.
I used this natural pause to allow my creative brain to process subconsciously in its own time.
It was a good reminder that sometimes the most adaptable thing is to shift your focus away before returning to something. If I had stuck to adaptability as being a very literal definition of 'to make fit by modification,' I would have actually done the opposite of my intention. Instead of exploring indirectly (which is adapting), I might have pushed through and forced changes that weren't ready to emerge.
WHAT I'M LOVING:
I was going through old photos this week and ran into all of Cade's puppy photos and I'm 💀💀💀. How is he already 9?! How was he ever this small?! 😍
Season 2 of Dungeons and Drag Queens started this week and that is definitely how I spent my Saturday morning 👑 #BossA$$B!tch #QuestingQueens
I was eating lemon curd on toast the other night and it got me thinking about the italian strawberries snack I make in the summers (Flavia - Thank you for finding my second favorite strawberry snack ever!) Which then lead me to thinking about pairing strawberry + lemon curd together in desserts, so these are now on my summer baking to-do list. Is it April yet?
If you aren't over on IG, I did end up making that glow soup from last week's edition (essentially a fridge dump soup) which was super good! Topping with a huge dollop of skyr is 🧑🍳😘!
HAVING A GREAT TIME HERE?
Here's a few ways you can let me know:
Option 1: 💌 Share with a fellow creative or business owner. Community starts with each of us and friends don't let friends chase their dreams at the expense of their mental health! If you know someone seeking more sustainability and harmony in their life and/or business, send this their way.
Option 2: 👋 Say hi! Hit reply and share a sentence or two about anything you enjoyed or hit home for you. I always hope these words find the right people at the right time, but it's always makes my day to hear from you!
