It's "review your goals and get excited about new year, new you season." 🤢
I love reflection and anticipation as much as the next person... as long as it isn't shoved down my throat with a side of shame, blame, and telling me what box to shove myself into January 1 to have a better life.
Maybe it was the growing up in the late 1900s, diet culture, living for decades with a handful of undiagnosed chronic illnesses, or the late-diagnosed neurodivergence... but been there and tried that.
It doesn't lead to long-term, sustainable change or overall well-being.
It's also the same reason why when my safe foods stopped working this week, it took me a cycle of beating myself up before it dawned on me to kick on my transition support systems until I can find new safe foods.
(Thankfully that cycle is days now, instead of weeks, but it's something I still struggle with.)
As I’ve worked to shift away from this default mode conditioned growing up, my approach to this time of year has shifted to look more like:
Get all the holiday season support systems in place.
Focus on presence over planning.
Reflect with the "patterns provide perspective" mindset.
Take learnings into a "what needs to shift to better support me" approach to new year prep vs. how can I change or fix “x” about myself.
The majority of new year advice relies on the ideology that the future version of you is always the best or better version of yourself. Setting an unattainable standard.
But your best self, is a supported self.
So I decided to make my year end > new year practice into a series you can come along with where we check our expectations, reconnect with our needs, and update our systems and routines to support who we are right now as we go into the new year.
('cause we've all got a feeling 2025 is going to be a wild ride!)
Each week you’ll get the in-depth details behind the weekly theme and an newsletter-only exercise before the weekly episodes go live on social media.
👋 Welcome to week 1 of Same You, Better Systems.
The Pattern Perspective
We already know that humans have inherent biological rhythms and patterns: circadian, diurnal, ultradian, and infradian being the 4 main types.
Circadian rhythms encompasses way more than just our sleep cycles. Officially they are the physical, mental, and behavioral change and organism experiences over a 24-hour cycle. Which means us, but also animals, plants, and microorganisms. [1]
These rhythms influence important functions in the human body like:
Sleep patterns (the most well-known one)
Hormone release
Appetite and digestion
Temperature
And the below factors impact and can alter those rhythms:
Light and dark are the biggest influence
Food intake
Stress
Physical activity
Social environments
Temperatures (hello, climate change 🫠)
Basically, everything is one giant f*@king circle, lol.
Fun fact: Microorganisms, fruit flies, zebrafish and mice are often studied in research because they have similar biological clock genes as humans. [2]
In a 2019 study, researchers looked into how different societies handle their sleep patterns throughout the year. What stood out most was that whether they looked at communities without electricity near the equator or cities with all the modern conveniences in northern Europe, they found that we share some fundamental biological rhythms. Across vastly different ways of life, cultures, and locations, our bodies naturally try to sync with the light and dark cycles around us. We're literally wired for pattern recognition. [3]
Before we standardized time, humans naturally shifted their patterns with these seasonal changes. An hour change here or there wasn't a disruption - it was just part of our natural rhythm.
What if we viewed our other pattern shifts with that same understanding?
But this isn't just about sleep cycles. These natural patterns show up all over our lives - in energy levels, creativity, and the ability to focus. Yet in today's world, we're often expected to override these patterns and instincts completely.
Add to this how blue light impacts our rhythms and the "always on" culture of our world, is it any wonder why our relationship with rest has becoming completely dysregulated?
There is a lot of nuance in this topic, as with most things. Technology and growth of industry has always had potential for lots of positives just as they have potential for plenty of negatives. And it often feels like the negatives win.
I'm very careful about the way I talk about our natural rhythms and cycles because I try to be as far from the crunchy to ultra-conservative pipeline as one can get.
But we can see the value in recognizing and honor the things our body's need from us as an act of rebellion against the systems who have displaced, degraded, and disconnected us from ourselves and our communities. Instead of an excuse to put blinders on to the very real circumstances that make this work difficult to implement.
At the end of the day, the cost of ignoring our needs is vast and expensive.
Benefiting others while costing us financially, mentally, and physically.
Over the last 6 years, we have seen research come out linking stress-related disorders to autoimmune diseases because psychological stress may weaken the immune system. [4]
Of course there are other genetic and environmental factors but ask anyone you know with a chronic illness and their response is likely "shocker." (I know mine was...)
On Wednesday, I attended an event put on by Gallup and WOHASU (World Happiness Summit) around Women's Workplace Wellbeing and Success. [5]
They shared lots of statistics from Gallup's research work but one stood out above everything.
Women who experience the balance and integration they are looking for are:
71% less likely to experience burnout
2.2x more engaged in their work
It literally pays when we prioritize well-being.
Because when work doesn't work, those effects ripple far beyond just the workplace.
And the 2 main places helpful sources for support in creating this balance?
66% selected personal friends and family
47% selected alone time and personal growth
It goes to show we are all influencers in our lives whether that's a small or large group—how you listen, speak, and act will ripple outward.
I know how incredibly hard it can be in the thiiiiiiick of stress, overwhelm, and anxiety.
And it is, unfortunately, a privilege in our world to be able to eat, breathe, and pay your bills without crushing pressure or ridiculous amounts of injustice.
Which is why we are here playing the long game.
🪽 Giving yourself grace when life does feel crushing.
🔎 Shifting perspective away from judgment toward curiosity.
🫶 Candor (with yourself and others.)
When you can lean on these things, you can take the information you learn about yourself—behavior, energy, needs—and react with support for yourself and those closest to you.
And the magic really happens when we start viewing our natural patterns as information rather than inconvenience—your habits and routines start to feel as sustainable as we wish they were.
Instead of fighting against our default modes, the automatic responses and habits we've built over time, we can start examining them with curiosity.
What are they telling us about our needs?
Our natural rhythms?
Our boundaries?
So this week, let's...
Try This:
The Default Mode Reset
Most productivity advice tells us to fight our automatic responses. But what if instead of trying to override these defaults, we used them as data to better understand ourselves? Much of our reactions comes from conditioning growing up so it helps to identify the reflexive productivity behaviors, trace their origins, and design new response patterns that are actually aligned with your natural rhythms.
HOW-TO:
Document your reflexive responses (15-20 min):
Grab your favorite note-taking method—digital or physical and set aside 30-60 minutes.
List anywhere from 1-5 common productivity situations that cause friction (like approaching deadlines, heavy meeting days, or energy dips.)
For each situation, write down your automatic reaction and note how these responses make you feel and their impact on your energy.
Trace the origin (10-15 min):
For each response, ask: "Where did I learn this behavior?"
Consider messages from work culture, family patterns, or past experiences.
Rate the effectiveness of these current default responses on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the worst and 10 being the best.)
Design new responses (20 min):
Review your notes from steps 1 & 2
For each situation, brainstorm 2-3 alternative responses that better honor your natural patterns
Create simple "if-then" plans for implementing these new responses
For example: "If I feel overwhelmed by my task list, then I'll take 5 minutes to sort tasks by energy required instead of pushing through or avoiding."
PERSONALIZATION IDEAS:
Reflect on the number of situations that feels comfortable. That might look like just one for you, or it could look like five. We are going for achievable here, not world domination.
Not sure where to start? Look at what you are struggling most with last week or see coming this week based on your schedule.
Keep your notes easy to access in your journal, phone, or wherever you'll actually use it.
Find ways to make this creative and fun, if that helps with motivation. If you prefer physical journaling or notebooks, find pens you love or colored markers or washi tape to make this an activity you are excited to do. If it's digital, use a whiteboard app or color-coded notes or doc app.
If none are coming to mind, set a handful of specific check-in times throughout the week to reflect and catch any friction points that have come up. Use alarms or calendar holds to get reminders!
Create environment triggers to help you pause and choose new responses like post-its, setting something on your laptop so you have to pause before opening, etc.
Ask a friend or coworkers to check-in with you at a specific time or day of the week for accountability as you implement.
REMEMBER:
This isn't about completely changing your automatic responses overnight. It's about reflecting to gather information, understanding your patterns, and making small, intentional shifts closer to where you feel more supported. Your default modes developed for a reason—they helped you cope at some point. Now you're just updating them to better serve who you are today 🫶
From My Journal
This is the first end of year season I can remember where time feels fast but I don't feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
It's a weird dichotomy.
I realized that it's because I'm present in a way I really haven't been over the last 5 years. That's a longer story I'll reflect on more someday when it's more fully processed, but as I get farther into my personal growth journey, I've become a big fan of acknowledging and calling out when real-time awareness and reflection happens where it didn't used to.
It's not every time or in every situation—I am human after all. lol
But it's a muscle and skill I've put a lot of work into strengthening since I turned 30 and I'm really proud to see the fruits of that labor.
It reminds me of the Zoe Saldaña quote:
I know who I am. I love who I am. I like what I do. And I like how I do it. And I like my mistakes. And I like the way that I learn. And I like the pace, with which I learn my mistakes. I don’t want to be anybody else but me. And by knowing this I want to continue figuring out who the f*@k I am.
When I first read it I thought, "I can't even fathom how that feels or how you even get to that level of self-esteem."
I'm starting to understand how that feels now.
WHAT I'M LOVING:
For our family thanksgiving, I made this cobbler instead of pie and while I'm not normally a cobbler girl... this was to die for. RIP my blood sugar balance that day 💀 I recommend making a half or quarter batch so you have a few small portions because this is a savor over volume kinda dish.
I found out this week that Ruby Tandoh, a former GBBO contestant, now writes for the New Yorker (among other publications and cookbooks). Her article about AllRecipes being America’s Most Unruly Cooking Web Site reminded me that it's time to pull out my annual tomato-free chili. It originally started with this recipe that I've modified so much, you can't really even say it's comparable. I leave out the worcestershire, chili sauce, cheese, and onion and add in a bag of frozen veggies, whatever spices tickle my fancy that day, and occasionally swap beef for ground turkey or toss in some sweet potato. 🧑🍳💋
I'll be spending most of the next couple weeks finishing crochet projects for the holidays. But also, cross your fingers and send strength for my poor hands 🤣
HAVING A GREAT TIME HERE?
Here's a few ways you can let me know:
Option 1: 💌 Share with a fellow creative or business owner. Community starts with each of us and friends don't let friends chase their dreams at the expense of their mental health! If you know someone seeking more sustainability and harmony in their life and/or business, send this their way.
Option 2: 👋 Say hi! Hit reply and share a sentence or two about anything you enjoyed or hit home for you. I always hope these words find the right people at the right time, but it's always makes my day to hear from you!
