HOUSEKEEPING:
Things may look a bit different around here because I've migrated my newsletter to a new platform! I've been working since October to find a way for you to easily access past issues and for them to be shared. I'm excited to finally have that resolved and you can now find all past issues in the archive here! They'll still be delivered to your inbox every Sunday but now you can also log in to see the full articles anytime! If you run into any issues, reply to any newsletter or send a note directly to [email protected] for help.
Going into the holiday I was reminded of the "hurry up and do extra" part of preparing for time out of office. It's such an ingrained practice that I still fall victim to it sometimes.
It meant I needed to spend some time journaling and noticing why I felt the need to do that and what about my plans, expectations, and system was not being supportive.
What did I learn?
I had made an ambitious plan for a consistent and "best" level of energy that was compounded by both excitement and passion for what I'm working on.
And that dropped me straight into "oh shit, I f*@ked up" land.
I think it's easy to believe that changing how you operate is a one-and-done process, that you'll never struggle with it again.
(If that has been the case for you, please respond and tell me your secrets!)
But that isn't reality.
It's a lie we've been told about productivity that lands many of us in burnout because instead of listening to our body say "this isn't working, please adjust..."
We end up pushing through and find ourselves worse off or farther behind than if we just met our needs as they became clear.
Maybe you did this before taking time away this holiday too?
If so, as you wrap up your year and look forward to 2025, I'd like to encourage you to take ask yourself "how can I meet my needs as they become clear to me?" with you in your planning, ESPECIALLY if you are fellow neurospicy, person with chronic illness, or small business owner.
The System Trap
I spent over a decade creating systems that I personally couldn't survive inside of. I was great at building systems for the perfect, neurotypical set of standards that I couldn't operate under.
I was a product of my conditioning and environment. It wasn't until I was almost 10 years into my career that I started looking at why my personal systems never lasted because I had just burnt out for the 3rd time and I wanted to understand how to end the cycle.
At that point I already had a deep understanding of hourly and daily scheduling and planning that took in other people's energy and aligned their schedule accordingly, but I was still learning how to build a flexible and sustainable system around this.
Digging farther into this struggle and developing what is now my Thoughtful Systems framwork, I finally found I was creating systems that I could keep up with personally and in my business.
When I see ads from others in the online (or general) business space telling people that "if you just follow their perfect system, success is guaranteed" my skin crawls and I want to rip my hair out.
I know there isn't always room for nuance in the online space. We are fighting people with millions (or billions) of dollars vying for what attention spans we have available and years of exhaustion from living in a world that doesn't give an F about our needs.
But you begin to realize that the advice drilled into our heads that we just need more "discipline" and "focus" is just another version of the "pull yourself up by your bootstrap" message that has been disadvantaging so many of us.
When research into habit formation across many disciplines shows us the opposite:
Personalization increases the likelihood of successful habits and system sustainability.
Because it allows...
💪 Autonomy to choose your own goals fuels motiviation and sustains momentum.
⚓️ Building on existing routines by using them as anchors for new habits.
🫶 Change to align with your personal values, making it an easier target to hit.
And that "21 days to build a new habit" advice? It's a f*@king myth. Research shows it can actually take anywhere from 18 to 254 days, depending on the person and behavior.
What I would give to know 👆 tidbit in my 20s!
It would have saved me so much shame.
It's why I don't tell you what your exact sustainable system is.
I share what elements are necessary to create one.
And then give you practical tools, exercises, and prompts on how to determine what they are for you.
Sustainable systems rely on a handful of core principles:
- Flexibility is a feature, not a flaw.
- Start with observation, not optimization.
- Build in buffer zones for real life.
- Allow for evolution as needs change.
- Energy alignment over time management.
Because just like shoes that don't fit cause friction and pain...
The same thing happens when your systems don't fit.
When they ignore personal energy patterns, don't account for life changes, prioritize unilateral consistency over sustainability, and frame adaption as failure—It's no wonder the systems fall apart.
Those systems that fall apart are telling you something worth it's weight in gold.
This isn't working, try again.
It asks us to shift how we think about how we move through life and meet our needs.
Allowing ourselves to redefine traditional productivity and systems around these core principles opens up an opportunity to grow, learn, and make supportive changes with less shame, frustration, and struggle.
We see these same rigid themes pop up all over business and life routines. Especially in year-end reflections that are focused on telling us to look at where we fell short and how we can "do better" or "get caught up" next year.
These year end practices push us to analyze our achievements, set ambitious goals, and create detailed plans for the year ahead. But what if we approached reflection with the same gentle curiosity we're learning to bring to our daily energy patterns?
Traditional year-end reviews often trigger our achievement addiction, leading us to:
- Judge our progress against arbitrary metrics.
- Overlook growth that can't be measured.
- Push aside the wisdom gained from challenges.
- Discount the value of rest and recovery periods.
Instead of forcing ourselves into rigid reflection frameworks, we can create space for genuine insight by honoring our journey exactly as it happened. This isn't about tracking every win or analyzing every setback...
It's about witnessing our evolution with compassion and gathering wisdom to support our current and future selves.
Let's explore how to reflect in a way that actually feels supportive as we...
Try This:
Year-End Reflection (without the pressure)
This practice combines gentle self-inquiry with options for pulling an oracle or tarot card spread (though that part is optional!) to help you reflect back on 2024 and honor it while gathering wisdom for the coming year.
