Originally published October 13, 2024
I made some big changes around workload going into Q4 this year that were/are very bittersweet.
And after taking the last year off to de-center chasing medical things and just living for a bit, I'm jumping back into the deep end to try and get some answers around the unknown.
Since October 1st, I've had five doctor's appointments and am excited to start the second half of October with a 6-month strategy to embark on.
I'm not ready to share all the details yet.
But as I stare down some scary stuff...
I will be sharing bits and pieces of managing the mindset and emotions that come from it all.
We don't wait for life to be perfect around here to make moves, we accommodate our needs along the way.
I'm excited to share that part with you in this next phase.
Beyond the Bubble Bath
For many years I hated (with a capital H) the word "self-care". Which is hilarious when you look at the business I built.
I would eventually realize, it wasn't self-care that I hated.
But the portrayal of self-care all around us.
Where Instagram tells you it's all about fancy bubble baths and $200 facials, but your bank account's like 'How about a nap and some tap water instead?' 😅
It took so much rewiring to figure out that self-care is less:
🧖🏻♀️ spa day – though they can be sooooo nice and be a small part of a larger self-care strategy.
and more...
🔥 spar day – fighting off unrealistic expectations, dodging guilt trips, and saying 'I think the f*@k not' to the voice that says you're not doing enough.
And then I had to find the self-care that works for me.
Because what is good for others, might not work for me.
And vice versa.
As I started building out what my coaching and consulting would be, I knew from my own history that true self-care, specifically professional self-care, was a necessary focus for anyone looking to prevent burnout.
Self-care in a professional context means a variety of things like:
🙅🏻♀️ setting healthy boundaries
🗂️ prioritizing tasks effectively
🪫 knowing when to step back and recharge
🙋🏻♀️ advocating for your needs in the workplace
It looks like building habits and practices to:
🔍 regularly checking in with yourself
🌡️ assessing your stress levels
🏋️ taking deliberate actions to support your well-being
This might include anything from taking short breaks during the workday to learn a new skill that energizes you, or having the courage to say "no" to projects that don't align with your goals or capacity.
All of which is crucial for the work-life harmony you're aiming for.
They help you build a foundation for sustainable success in both your professional and personal life.
When you don't do these things, you risk burnout, increased stress, and decreased energy, productivity, and satisfaction in your work and life.
By prioritizing self-care, you become better equipped to navigate the ebb and flow of life's demands so you can still have the energy and enthusiasm to pursue the activities, interests, and relationships you love.
You might know all this already.
Many of my clients already do.
But there's a huge difference between having or having access to the knowledge and knowing how to implement it for yourself.
Which is why this week, I want you to...
Try This:
Create a Self-Care Menu
Before we dive into how a Self-Care Menu supports these goals without complicating them, I want to ask you to come into this week's exercise with a curious mind, compassion for all your parts (and their needs), and the willingness to step outside of what you already do for self-care.
Self-Care Menus are an incredible tool to keep in your bag for busy professionals, neurodivergent folks, and anyone looking to build a supportive system for your personal life.
In today's world, decision fatigue and information overload are rampant.
Did you know that by the time the average person goes to bed they've made over 35,000 decisions in a day?[1]
🫠🤯😳
Anything you can do to reduce and make decisions easier on yourself is something your brain will thank you for!
Enter the Self-Care Menu.
It's choose your own adventure time, folks!
There are 4 main ways you can approach your menu:
- By time (5, 15, 30, 60 minutes)
- By energy (low, medium, high)
- By category (physical, mental, emotional)
- By routine (morning, lunch, evening, etc.)
Let's talk about each method:
⏰ Time: This allows you to prioritize all menu items by time length so when you need to pull from the menu you identify how much time you have (say 15 minutes) and then you look at your 15 minute list and choose the activity that sounds the most appealing or supportive.
🔋 Energy: This allows you to prioritize all menu items by energy required so when you need to pull from the menu you identify how much energy you have (like having a low energy day) and then you look at your low energy list and choose the activity/activities that sounds the most appealing or supportive.
🗂️ Category: This allows you to prioritize all menu items by how they support you—mentally, physically, or emotionally. Then you can identify what type of support you need in a given moment and choose from a list of activities tailored specifically to supporting you in that way.
🔁 Routine: This allows you to prioritize each menu to the types of activities that support your specific routines like morning, lunch, evening, movement, play time, etc. For more examples on this, see the personalization section after the how-to steps!
👉 I also recommend that if you're not using the Time method, you still list time length for all activities since it is a fact of life that we make decisions based on availability.
HOW-TO:
- On a blank piece of paper, brainstorm all your favorite self-care activities for physical, mental, and emotional aspects. This can be everything from walks, journaling, meditating, playing a video game, knitting, calling a friend, facing a difficult conversation, trying a new recipe, etc.
- Choose your method of categorization: time, energy, category, or routine.
- Make sure to take into consideration activities you may need based on environment: whether you are in the private office vs. a coworking space vs. a coffee shop (or have a travel specific menu for when you are somewhere else in the world).
- Assemble your activities from Step 1 using the method from Step 2 to get something like this.
- Keep this somewhere easy to access - printed and hung in your house, in a note on your phone, saved as your lock screen for a few examples.
- Commit to trying at least one item off you menu every day this week.
PERSONALIZE IT:
You can create as many of these as you like for as many scenarios as you'd like. For example:
- Morning Menus - specific to activities in varying times for your morning routine.
- Closing Menus - specific to activities to transitioning from work to personal life (dinner types, movement activities, etc.) or closing up the house at the end of the day (dishes, sorting mail, watching tv, reading, playing games, hobbies, etc.)
- Lunch Menus - specific to how you want to spend your midday break like a longer lunch and less other activities or snack lunch and lots of movement or productive personal tasks.
- Movement Menus - specific to when you are craving some movement. Having everything from a 2-minute stretch to a full workout class is a great option to make sure you always have something to meet your needs.
- Play Menus - specific to activities that you consider hobbies and light your inner child up. Many adults don't make enough time for play and making that barrier to entry as low as possible makes it easier to prioritize.
BONUS:
For my neurospicy folks who thrive on novelty, pair this with the 3-2-1 Transition Formula Exercise for a chef-kiss transition practice that is fun, fresh, and fatigue-free 👏
The below is from a book I finished last month and I'm still thinking about how relatable it was:
"The game is rigged."
"No one designed it to be fair."
"Well someone should. [Because] first of all, it's part of an unsustainable and expensive business culture. Burnout is real, and not taking care of people's needs means more turnover. Making things more fair with flexible scheduling and need-based accommodations helps you keep your best people. Second of all, it's more expensive to hire and train new people to standard than it is to keep your best people.”
- Said the gargoyle who works in HR for the Evil Empire 🙃
WHAT I'M LOVING:
- Wandering around Target window shopping and still only leaving with the essentials.
- Spending 45 minutes in the yarn aisle at the craft store feeling different textures and trying to guess the yarn color names for the multi-colored skeins.
- Having roommates who decorate for halloween for you. It's spiders—the roommates are spiders... Then proceeding to have a 15 minute conversation about whether them eating other bugs is their in-kind rent payment or if we're both just helping a friend out in a mutually beneficial situation.
HAVING A GREAT TIME HERE?
Here's a few ways you can let me know:
- Option 1: 💌 Share with a fellow creative or business owner. Community starts with each of us and friends don't let friends chase their dreams at the expense of their mental health! If you know someone seeking more sustainability and harmony in their life and/or business, send this their way.
- Option 2: 👋 Say hi! Hit reply and share a sentence or two about anything you enjoyed or hit home for you. I always hope these words find the right people at the right time, but it's always makes my day to hear from you!
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