Originally published November 17, 2024
I'm returning to holiday hustle support content this week because we are all dealing with more stress than ever (plenty from holidays, year-end work, and other... colorful... places.) Having experienced firsthand how crucial energy management is during difficult seasons, this content feels necessary now more than ever—both for me and for you.
Like how I'm already seeing some of the benefits of completing the Holiday Capacity Planning exercise back in October. A friendsgiving event popped up for this weekend that wasn't originally in my plans. Is the timing perfect? No. But I was able to quickly consider:
- How important is attending this event to me?
- How long it would be?
- How big is the event?
- How much time will I need to recoup from it?
- Do I need to do anything in advance?
- If yes, do I have time to complete that?
- Am I willing to reschedule other things in order to attend?
- Where am I in my cycle?
- Do I need to accommodate any needs if I attend this event?
After looking at everything and knowing that the rest of my thanksgiving week afterwards is well buffered, it was an easy yes.
I share this because it's a good reminder of why we have these intentional systems—so we can fully show up for the moments and people without depleting ourselves.
Plans rarely go perfectly and things will pop-up that surprise you.
When you know your needs, you can ensure they are met while doing the things that matter to you.
The Permission Portfolio
Balancing your needs during the holidays seems the hardest of any other time. In part because there is so much joy in addition to the stress of the holidays.
In a 2023 American Psychological Association poll, 41% of people shared that their stress during the holidays is greater than other points in the year and 43% shared that holiday stress interferes with their ability to enjoy the season. [1]
When societal expectations for holidays are centered around:
- Gifts
- Travel
- Traditions at any cost
- Family traditions above all else
It makes sense why 89% of people in the APA poll reported increased stress due to concerns around money, missing loved ones, and anticipating family conflicts during the season. [2]
Add to that the pressures of social media and the highlight reels of perfect home decor, the burn and churn of perfect Hallmark movies, etc. It continually creates an expectation that can make it feel like you're behind.
Now don't get me wrong, I love a good Hallmark movie and fluffy holiday romcom books. The predictability is soothing. But it's not real life for most of us. It's made me grateful for creators on social media who try new holiday trends that don't come out perfectly. It feels a lot like finding your favorite blogger site back in the 2010s when everyone was DIYing what they could after just getting out of school. Back before owning brand new, custom build $500k+ homes was the social media baseline.
I also think it's important to talk about traditions. There are many traditions, whether cultural or specific to your family, that are important. Carrying on legacy and honoring where we come from is important, but it's a mistake to think they will never change over time.
Whether it's creating new traditions because new family members join, shifting old traditions when losing a loved one, or changing a tradition because you live somewhere different or have different means than past years, looking at traditions as rigid expectations is a recipe for stress.
With all these expectations, whether self-imposed, societal, cultural, or familial, it's a time of year you want to approach prepared with a flexible system that allows you to take care of your needs while doing the things that are most important to you.
Part of that system includes permission.
It's easy to believe that giving yourself permission is simply indulging yourself when we are raised where everything requires permission.
Whether it's to create, to prioritize your needs, or going against the grain, transitioning into the role of both doer and permission-giver can be difficult if you were never taught how to do both.
I know I wasn't...
When looking at it through the holiday lens specifically, it can feel selfish to give yourself:
