Friday was National Quitter's Day, a day that is said to be when most people give up on their resolutions, and I saw lots of posts talking about it like it's some grand revelation about human willpower.
But the whole concept of the day is missing the plot: when masses of people 'quit' their resolutions at the same time, that's not a willpower problem—it's a system design flaw.
When you've already proven you can achieve big things, hitting a wall isn't about lacking discipline. It's about trying to force yourself into systems that weren't designed for your natural rhythms and energy needs.
Maybe this is why the word 'boundaries' has been on my mind lately...
Healthy Bounds
Sometimes the things we're known for can be the things we have struggled with the most. I've been called a "boundary queen" by peers, friends, and even my own therapist, and for a long time my perception of those skills was being absolute 💩 at it.
This paired with a lifetime of perfectionism means that one of the things I've worked on a lot the last couple years is the habit of extreme penduluming.
This is what I call it when I overcorrect literally anything.
👉 Going from no boundaries to having boundaries at the expense of other people.
👉 Going from a life of constant overstimulation to near isolation.
So as I work to find the gray and inbetween of it all, I tend to have a weird relationship with some cultural buzzword-y concepts—like self-care and definitely with boundaries.
And when I struggle with something, my first instinct is to research and understand it as much as possible.
Which is how I found myself down the etymology rabbit hole of the word "boundaries."
And I want to talk about it because what I found made something I regularly do with myself and clients... *click*
The word "boundary" as we know it today first appeared in 1598, specifically referring to property lines and land divisions.
But it's the root word "bound" that holds the real story.
See, "bound" has multiple origins and meanings, each telling us something different about limits and movement:
- In Latin, it meant "humming" or "resounding" - a vibration moving outward.
- In Medieval Latin and Old French, it became about landmarks and borderlands.
- In Old English, it meant "to bind" or "restrict."
- In Old Norse, it meant "to get ready" or "prepare."
Somewhere along the way, we lost some of the rich meanings.
Our modern understanding (and/or perception) of boundaries leans heavily into restriction and limitation. We forgot about the resonance, the preparation, the natural landmarks that guide rather than confine.
After all that digging, I couldn't get this one thought out of my head...
What if we looked at boundaries as "getting ready for" instead of "to limit"?
I don't know if this has been true for you, but I think past-Hannah put up a lot of barriers instead of boundaries.
In energy management, we look at things like energy boosters and energy drains, but it's also important to keep an eye on where your systems become restrictive instead of flexible in your efforts to better self-manage.
Let's take a look at and example of how personalized energy systems could be barriers for some while being a healthy boundary for another:
