hopscotch boundaries, if-then options, and finding flow in flexibility
I've been thinking a lot about flexibility latelyânot just in how nature adapts to changing seasons, but in how it is inherently woven into ecosystems, the way we cultivate it in relationships, and the dichotomy of desperately wanting it while being absolutely terrified of the process of living with it.
Flexibility can be frightening when it once meant danger.
Flexibility can be uplifting if it was always denied to you.
Flexibility can be comforting when choice was not afforded to you.
Like with many things (though not all) there is a middle ground between flexibility and structure. Finding this middle groundâwhere flexibility supports rather than threatensârequires intentional design. This week, I want to share some ideas about creating frameworks that flex without breaking. Because contrary to what perfectionism tells us, the most resilient structures aren't rigid onesâthey're the ones designed with change in mind from the start.
đą TIPS FOR A MORE SUSTAINABLE LIFE + BUSINESS
Dynamic Design
I went down a rabbit hole this week researching how flexibility is intentionally (or inherently) integrated across disciplines.
In people and teams, this is called cross-functional.
In buildings, design can focus on dynamic architecture.
In biology, there are adaptable organisms.
In nature, core functions are maintained through ecological resilience.
In tech + web design, you've likely heard of responsive design.
In engineering, this can be found in fault-tolerant design.
In physics, we can find this in fluid dynamics.
And it got me thinking.
As we are adjusting our routines and schedules during the shift into spring, why are we flying through space as little dots on a giant rock trying to create routines that have to be "complete" and perfectly executable the same way, every single day?
More than ever we live in volatile environments, conditions, and times. We have to reduce the pressure and that comes through accommodating the reality:
Sometimes we need different things.
And those things can change monthly, weekly, daily, hourly, etc.
If we draw inspiration from these diverse fields, here are three elements to incorporate into your routine design as you make update this spring:
- Flexpoints: Where can you build in places, times, or areas where change isn't just okay, but expected and part of the plan?
- Modular Routines: Where can you design your routines around mix-and-match pieces that can be rearranged based what you need on a given day?
- If-Then Options: Where can you do a little work upfront to have ready-to-go alternatives that reduce decision fatigue and mental labor when you are in the midst of stress, chaos, or shit energy levels?
Not sure where to start? I pulled out this personal menus exercise last week to go through and update my notes app menus. This multi-functional approach to routines gives you flexibility and built-in allowance for flow without sacrificing necessary structure. đ
⨠TIPS FOR A MORE SOULFUL LIFE
Create Courageously
About once a quarter you will find me mindlessly staring into the fridge with my eyes glazed over. It happens more than that of course, but we aren't here to talk about the time-honored tradition of boredom and late night fridge visits, lol. No, I'm talking about when my mind and body decide that all the foods in rotation suddenly sound like absolute trash.
My brain would automatically go into feeling bad about having to choose between wasting food and forcing myself to do something that is physically revolting. Dress me down for not being "like everyone else" who doesn't have to worry about this. Shake it's finger at me scoldingly like I'm on the stand in front of Judge Judy the first time I end up skipping a meal because of it.
This is just one example of how perfectionism demanded that I have rigid, "complete" systems that did not leave space for evolution, or my humanity.
It's ironic that by chasing a "perfect" system we will often create the exact problems we are desperate to solve. There is this deep rooted belief that "if we can just get it right, this won't be a problem anymore," when in reality, it creates a fragile system that cannot adapt and support us through changing needs, energy, or environments.
Recreating the problem to be solved time and time again.
When it's laid out like that, I definitely don't want a "perfect" system... do you?
It took me longer than I would have liked to learn that success wasn't just in building a better systemâit's courageously, intentionally developing our capacity to sit with the discomfort that arises when systems inevitably fail.
I say that embracing the unfinished requires courage because we have to be willing to face and acknowledge discomfort. To not try and solve it, but find a home in it. To see that we learned to try and outrun discomfort by seeking perfection instead of embracing when something is "good enough for now."
I can't say that I'm great at this. I'm not speaking from a place of "huzzah! I've cracked the code!" because I definitely haven't. But I did intentionally use past tense when I shared about my safe food failures at the beginning here though. I've gotten a lot better at navigating the conditioned responses over time using the below and maybe it will be helpful for you too:
- Think of those initial reactions as first thoughts and acknowledging that they aren't "yours"âthey're conditioned.
- Acknowledge that there is still truth in their wordsâI mean, a broken clock is right twice a day, right? It's okay for them to have some good points AND still need to approach it differently. One doesn't negate the other.
- Then ask yourself, what kind of inner dialogue would you write for your child, best friend, etc. if they were in your place? Because that is your real response.
As you practice this emotional capacityâthis willingness to be with discomfort rather than frantically rebuilding systems to avoid itâyou might just discover it is precisely what enables you to create more flexible (and unfinished) systems in the first place. The acceptance of discomfort becomes your foundation for systems that can breathe and evolve with you.
đ TIPS FOR A MORE SCALEABLE BUSINESS
Why Your Delegating Needs Decision Categorization
I'm in the process of documenting how I produce this newsletterâfrom outlining, research, drafting, revision, SEO, graphics, etc.âso it doesn't all live in my head. And writing processes for the first time always reminds me how much my brain does automatically that needs to be defined before handing it off.
The process has specific things that need to be done the same way every time:
- Sections of the newsletter: Sustainable, Soulful, Scalable, a rotating personal thoughts area, and the Currently Obsessed With
- 4-5 categories specific to each post
- Email Title, SEO Post Title, and SEO Post Description
- Post Thumbnail and Social Share Image
But there is decision-making required in each of these:
- How are newsletter topics determined?
- What categories apply and is there a limit to the number of categories we use?
- How are email subjects different from post titles?
- What makes a good email subject vs. a good post title?
- What emojis get used for thumbnails and share images?
- How often can we reuse the same emojis in thumbnails and share images?
I like to think about it like hopscotch squaresâyou draw boundaries/parameters of where an acceptable step can be taken without everything being explained or detailing the minutia. As long as it makes it within the bounds, you are good to keep moving forward.
Most, if not all, things can (and will) be delegated based on the size and/or needs of your business. And I see lots of companies, leaders, and teams fall into the two extremes of the delegation spectrum:
Where overly rigid processes can stifle creativity and employee autonomy, complete independence can create misalignment and anxietyâand both end up costing both leaders and teammates in each scenario frustration, wasted time, and decreased trust.
So what is the middle ground?
There are lots of options we could get into, but today I want you to focus on thinking about decision categorization. Think about handing off a specific task in your work and I'll keep using this newsletter for the example:
- Ask: What decisions need guidance? Within this newsletter, there needs to be guidance in topics for newsletters from brand pillars or categories, defined post categories that content will fall under, brand voice and tone for content drafting and SEO descriptions, email subject framework, information around how emojis are selected, and standards for design of graphics.
- Ask: Where do people need freedom? Creative freedom is needed within all the drafting and design of the newsletter. If someone is writing on behalf of a personal brand, they need access to brand stories and experiences, but have creative freedom on how to weave that story using a storytelling framework.
- Ask: What decisions need clear escalation paths? Is there a review process? If you're writing for a personal brand, does that person need to sign off on everything or is there only certain instances they need to be pulled in? What happens if the post categories need to be updated because brand topics change or shift?
- Ask: Who owns what parts of this process? Who is in charge of setting newsletter topics? Who does research? Who drafts the content? Who does the titling, SEO descriptions, and graphic creation? Who proofreads and schedules it?
If you're a one-person show, you can see how the wearing this many hats for too long can end up being difficult to unweave. No matter what size you are, making your documentation as clear as possible early on will save you mountains of headaches, 10s to 100s of hours, and lots of confusion as your business scales.
Also, remember that refinement will always be part of the process but if scaling is your goal, understanding this will make you a better leader, mentor, and business owner as you growâprofessionally and personally.
BEHIND THE SCREENS
After giving up all social media for 5 months in 2024, I didn't really miss it much. I missed the friends I would chat with in DMs and I missed seeing what was going on in friends lives. But the act of being on social media I didn't miss. I had less anxiety andâwhat felt likeâway more time.
While yes, I definitely did get some time back, what I really had was more presence.
So a few days ago when I was doing my daily 30-60 minutes on Instagram (now that I've had all the apps removed from my phone again for a few weeks) and came across this video by one of my favorite creators about presence as a platform.
It remembered me how differently time passes on and off the apps. And then it made me wonder why I didn't end up in research or career academics because I want to go down the rabbit hole like Alice I enjoy this shit so much. lol.
I don't have a big point or an ah-ha moment for you. Just an unfinished thought because I'm still in the middle of learning whatever this little jaunt in my journey is bringing forwardâand I thought the concept was worth sharing.
What do you notice about your time and presence on and/or off social apps?
CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH:
- Homemade Buttermilk Waffles 𤤠I'm on a waffle kick and this is my go-to swapping for GF flour. Next time I get the kick during my follicular phase, I'm thinking of trying this one though.
- My personality this spring is just strawberries, lemon curd, whipped cream, yogurt bowls, the smell of lilac flowers, a camera roll full of flowering weeds, our old gal wanting to be tucked into bed like Poppy the boxer, discovering my favorite cough drops didn't disappear just rebranded, sunrise shadows on the kitchen wall, and my Dieux reusable eye masks.
- Hitting over 800 days in a row in my reading streak (and 120+ weeks). I still find it hilarious that I couldn't finish a book to save my life from 2010-2021 while finishing over 800 books since November 2022. đ
đđ I'm not sure if I want to stop being surprised by it or if I always want to be surprised by it even if I'm still reading like this 10 years from now...
HAVING A GREAT TIME HERE?
Here's a few ways you can let me know:
- Option 1: đ Share with a fellow creative or business owner. Community starts with each of us and friends don't let friends chase their dreams at the expense of their mental health! If you know someone seeking more sustainability and harmony in their life and/or business, send this their way.
- Option 2: đ Say hi! Hit reply and share a sentence or two about anything you enjoyed or hit home for you. I always hope these words find the right people at the right time, but it's always makes my day to hear from you!
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